What People Want Me To Be

You know how they say that if you're bi, you'll get twice as many dates? I figure being androgynous gets you four times as many, so I try to be what people want me to be. It backfired this time, though--it turns out that she suspects every man of planning to cheat on her." She turned her gaze to the floor. "I guess I ought to be broken up about this, but I figured this would happen sooner or later. I'm really just disappointed I won't be getting into her pants. I have no idea what I'll do now--she always means what she says."

The words slipped out before he could stop them. "You're going to watch a movie, and for an hour and a half, you're going to forget all about it."

"Are you trying to pick me up on the rebound?"

He always withered under questions like that. "Well, no . . . I just hate to see a girl who's unhappy . . . Not that I'm sure whether you're a girl . . ." He shut up and waited in silence for the movie to begin.

The movie was awful, but he liked the romantic subplot. As the doomed lovers kissed, the blue-eyed girl snuggled up to him, and he decided that he might as well enjoy the feeling.

As he stood to leave, she told him, "There's a nice Italian place on the corner of 11th and Grant. If you want to have dinner next Wednesday at eight, I'll treat."

-- -- -- --


He almost didn't recognize her in a suit--with her short hair and flat chest, she really did look like a man. "It's useful," she said. "Just watch."

She stood a little taller, and her stride grew longer. She coughed into the sleeve of her suit as she approached the register. "Table for two, please."

"The manager has a thing against women," she told him, after they'd been seated. "He still hasn't figured out that girl me is the same as guy me, though. I think he thinks I'm some sort of businessman, bringing girls here for dates and guys here to make contracts, and he always speeds up my orders."