The Toilet Seat

"Because he hit you." Veronica answered.

"David never hit me, David is the nicest, most kind, and understanding man on campus."

"Your lip?" Veronica starts.

"I bit it when I sat on toilet with it's lid up. That cold marble is quite a shock!"

Suddenly apartment is full of security. Veronica is arrested. Shirley is arrested. Gold box with proof is taken. David is taken to Homeland Security's Labs where he is checked out, released, and promised that reparations would be made.

One of the security team takes David home. He is Foster, son of Dean of Women. Coincidence? I think not. Foster is smitten by the new beautiful 'David'. Asks for date. Both are surprised when 'David' accepts. Plans made. Across campus Mother smiles. Finally her son gets involved. She may yet have grandchildren. She starts process to change 'David' to Diane with appropriate documentation. Diane's change will not affect her impending Master's degree in Nano-technology.

Dean of Women calls local women's shops and orders complete wardrobe for soon to be Daughter in law. By the time 'David/Diane' returns to apartment after 'Coffee Date' it has all been delivered and put away in 'her' newly refitted Apartment.

Shirley is later released. Pressure by security gets her kicked out of University. She gets job at Gay Bar/Club as a shemale hostess. Makes good living.

Veronica goes to jail for twenty years. (Turns out she 'was' mole!)

Brad discovers he is gay.

Brad meets Shirley at club. Relationship forms. They are very happy together.

Diane graduates top of her class. Her Masters Degree gets her job in Homeland Security Labs doing research on nano- technology. (Nanites specificately)

Foster has proposed to Diane and she has accepted. Huge marriage ceremony. Diane inducted into 'Coven'. Mother over moon with happiness when she finds out Diane is pregnant. Holds big baby shower! Foster and Diane live happily ever after.

Moral:

Ladies. You have eyes. You have hands. Put your own toilet seat down!