Friday Night Fun Night

As you would imagine, it wasn’t the easiest coming to grips with all of this myself, and my wife had an even harder time with it as this was something that she had to either accept carte blanche or decide if I could or would change before saying yes to marrying me. Admittedly I didn’t lay all of my cards on the table as I began breaking this down for her so she could, but she had all the major moving parts and a good feel for what she in for if yes was the answer. And although many details needed to still emerge, she made the decision to say yes and married we were!

I think she was fascinated with some aspects of this, but as she pushed me to push myself to be honest with her and myself, she inadvertently evoked some things out of me that she later made quite clear to me that she did not like. She kept saying “go on, if this is who and what you are, you need to be honest with yourself and me.” I did, and I reverted back to a period of my life when I was dabbling with cross-dressing. The reason I had gone through this phase, as I look back in retrospect, was that I didn’t yet know anything about hypogonadism, let alone that I had the condition.

So when I began expressing my feminine side, which we all have in varying degrees and whether or not you would like to admit it, I began with a very limited set of resources and a very strong unwillingness to shop to experiment with it. The internet wasn’t a place where anyone would buy clothes then, or if they did I wasn’t aware of it, so whenever I managed to gather the courage to buy something I would create these elaborate stories of why I was buying women’s clothes to be able to just do it. This was before I had met her, so I really didn’t have any option but to go shopping for myself and by myself. I stopped it altogether when the phase had passed, and it remained in the closet of my mind until she began coaxing and drawing it out of me not long after we were married.